For the past two years I have been doing a lot of work on myself. I have been studying self improvement, female psychology, how emotions work, and male/female relationships. It wasn't easy, I'm still working on it, but it's been well worth it.
This post is about my investigations into a small part of what Korean women value.
A friend of mine told me that value is different from place to place, country to country. In South Korea, women value family, among other things, and not in the sense of, "I love my mom and dad." They value family status; who your parents are and what they do. It may not be the most important thing, but it seems to come first.
I decided to find out for myself if this was true or not.
I talked to ten different women in random locations such as coffee shops, book stores, the street, etc., and I gave them a scenario.
The scenario was:
"Imagine you have a choice between two men, both of them are doctors. One is a pediatrician, and the other is a brain surgeon. They make close to the same salary; they have a house in Seoul. Both of them are financially secure, and will likely never have money problems.
"But herein lies the rub.
"The pediatrician has no family. He never knew who is parents were because he grew up in an orphanage. He's got wonderful friends, but no aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents. Growing up like this in South Korea is EXTREMELY difficult even more so than in America. But through great perseverance, struggle through adversity, and a lucky break here and there, our hero graduated from med school with honors, and is a highly competent pediatrician.
"The brain surgeon comes from a big influential family. His father is a retired politician, his mother is a nurse, and his brother is a top-level executive at Hyundai Motor Company. He had to work hard in school too. It was no cake walk. Like the pediatrician, he graduated with honors and is a highly competent brain surgeon. But he didn't have quite as many tribulations as his fellow doctor.''
So then I asked the women, "Which would you prefer?"
Eight out of the ten women I asked prefer the brain surgeon, but some gave different reasons why.
Most of the women said that they preferred the brain surgeon because if life ever gets tough for him, he can rely on his influential family to help him out. And that's where the real value would come from. If he ever lost his job, his family could probably help him a great deal with their influence in finding a new one.
Another woman gave a different reason for choosing the brain surgeon over the orphan pediatrician. She said that the brain surgeon might have a better understanding of love, affection and connecting with people. He might not be as hard as the other man because he grew up knowing what it means to love and care for others. The other man might have learned to harden his heart at an early age, and might not be as caring and warm as the brain surgeon with an influential family.
Kind of ironic considering that the orphan is a pediatrician.
Now what about the women who chose the orphan over the man with a big family?
One woman said that she chose the orphan because she wouldn't have any in-laws to deal with. Indeed when men and women all over tie the knot, they then have responsibilities to two families. Sometimes those responsibilities are not pleasant. And if your in-laws are god-awful, well... That's just a shit sandwich you gotta take a bite out of. With an orphan, you still only have to take care of just one family; your own.
The other woman who chose the pediatrician simply said that it's all about which man's personality she likes more. Who his family is takes a back seat.
Speaking of personality, in this hypothetical game, ALL of them asked about what they are like as people. Are they nice men? How do they treat others? Are they assholes? etc.
This tells me that family status is not the most important thing, but it does seem to come first. But if you have a strong identity, create your own reality, and know how to talk to women, you can still have success in dating here in Korea even if your mom is a cleaning lady and your dad is a garbage man.
